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Dating is full of tiny money moments: choosing a restaurant, talking about travel, splitting a check, and deciding whether a gift is “too much.”\u00a0<\/p>\n
You don’t need to ask someone how much they make, what their net worth is, or how much student loan debt they carry to learn how they approach money and what kind of financial partner they might be.<\/p>\n
Talking about money with a potential partner is never just <\/em>about money. It’s about values, habits, and expectations around how someone thinks a “team” should work<\/a>. <\/p>\n<\/div>\n On your first few dates with someone, can you imagine actually asking, “How much do you make?”<\/a> Or, “What’s your net worth?” I wouldn’t be surprised if they excused themselves to the restroom and didn’t come back.\u00a0<\/p>\n The irony is, those questions aren’t even the best way to get at what you’re trying to learn. Someone can earn a lot and still feel financially unstable. Someone can earn less but have excellent systems, habits, and boundaries. <\/p>\n The goal is to understand how they think about money and what their values are.\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/div>\n Start with these questions<\/a> that invite real answers, stories, preferences, and patterns \u2014 and reveal their financial mindset more organically.<\/p>\n When money stops being theoretical and starts showing up in decisions that affect both of you \u2014 moving in, splitting regular expenses, building a shared life \u2014 it’s time to have more direct and specific conversations.<\/p>\n Money doesn’t have to be a third wheel on your early dates with someone new. Start with questions that reveal how they think and live, and save the hard numbers for when you’re building something together. That’s how you avoid surprises and set the relationship up to last.<\/p>\n Douglas A. Boneparth<\/strong><\/em><\/a>\u00a0is the president and founder of\u00a0<\/em>Bone Fide Wealth<\/em><\/a>, a wealth management firm based in New York City that focuses on millennials, young professionals and entrepreneurs. He is a member of\u00a0<\/em>CNBC’s Financial<\/em>\u00a0Advisor Council<\/em><\/a>. Boneparth\u00a0and his wife,\u00a0<\/em>Heather<\/em><\/a>, are the co-authors of “<\/em>Money Together: How to Find Fairness in Your Relationship and Become an Unstoppable Financial Team<\/em><\/a>.”<\/em>\u00a0<\/p>\n Want to improve your communication, confidence and success at work?<\/strong> Take CNBC’s new online course, <\/em>Master Your Body Language To Boost Your Influence<\/em><\/a>. Register now and use coupon code EARLYBIRD for an introductory discount of 20% off. Offer valid from Feb. 9 to Feb. 23, 2026. Terms apply.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\nWhat not to ask early on<\/h2>\n
7 money questions to ask on a date<\/h2>\n
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When to get more direct<\/h2>\n