\n
<\/p>\n
A collective gasp was heard throughout the country late last month when Bryon Noem<\/a>, the husband of former Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem, was outed for having a big-breasted, Barbie-like \u201cbimbo\u201d fetish.<\/p>\n The headline-making story that caused America to clutch their pearls and give the South Dakota father of three flak for his unexpected kink<\/a> begs the question: How should we appropriately react when we learn that a public figure or someone in our lives \u2014 whether it be a romantic partner, friend, family member or co-worker \u2014 reveals that they have a serious kink?<\/p>\n Alexis Ely<\/a>, a NYC-based sex and relationship therapist and owner of Rowan Healing<\/a>, suggests not being as judgmental and harsh as the public was with Noem, telling The Post that she was disappointed in both the country\u2019s and his wife\u2019s response to it \u2014 regardless of one\u2019s political views. <\/p>\n Ely emphasized that it\u2019s unfortunate that some people have \u201cweaponized the situation into a political ideology,\u201d sharing that \u201cusing anyone\u2019s kink as a political pawn hurts all of us, especially those in the kink community or those looking to explore.\u201d<\/p>\n The expert expressed that the scandal and resulting public mockery were not about kink, but more about \u201cshame, secrecy and disconnection\u201d \u2014 and that the former DHS head\u2019s public response saying she was \u201cdevastated\u201d and that her family was \u201cblindsided\u201d by the revelations came across as \u201csomewhat abandoning.\u201d<\/p>\n