Even the world’s brightest and bravest are titillated by turd.
Astronauts mentally and physically prepare for any obstacle that can come their way while soaring through space — including funneling their feces into a tube.
Zero gravity turns even the simplest of chores into a precarious operation for space seekers packed into already-cramped capsules.
Canadian Space Agency astronaut Jeremy Hansen, one of Artemis II’s voyagers, which successfully launched from Florida just after 6:30 p.m. Wednesday for its 10-day mission to the moon, shared a video tour of the shuttle’s sole place where they can “feel like we’re alone for a moment” — the new-and-improved lunar loo.
“The feces gets sucked down into the bottom into a bag, and you close that off and squish it down into the canister,” Hansen explained, noting that the canisters can’t be disposed of until they’ve landed back on Earth.
Their urine, meanwhile, is collected through a “hose” that deposits the liquid into space, Hansen said.
While the pee situation is relatively iron-clad, the dung sometimes goes flying.
During the Apollo 10 mission in 1969, the practice run ahead of the first-ever moon landing saw the three-man crew regularly interrupted by “floaters,” making for messy whodunnits between the astronauts.
“Here’s another goddamn turd. What’s the matter with you guys?” Lunar module pilot Gene Cernan said, according to a NASA transcript.
“It was just floating around?” Tom Stafford, the flight’s commander, said.
The stone-faced Cernan confirmed the turd’s authenticity, much to Stafford’s delight.
“Mine was stickier than that,” Stafford chuckled.
“Mine was too,” command module pilot John Young tried to chime in.
“I don’t know whose that is. I can neither claim it nor disclaim it,” Cernan concluded.
The Artemis II’s “hygiene bay” includes a door to provide greater privacy for the astronauts, which the Apollo crews were not afforded.
